@$$hole!: Halloween 2009
This is a conversation that I’ve been having lately, especially with the sequel to a certain “horror romance” movie coming out soon. Call me old fashion, but the only horror romance that I really want to see is Frankenstein. But I digress….
I had made comment on my twitter a while back about how “modern” vampires – these beautiful people that you see on TV and in movies that violate the rules of being a vampire – are not in fact vampires at all. They more closely resemble a chupacabra in description. “Goat drinkers,” I call them.
The truth is that over the years, especially recently, the rules the a vampire must follow have been becoming much more lax. Crosses don’t work, garlic is a joke, and only in very rare cases (ie: Joss Wheddon) do they have to be invited to enter a dwelling. I remember when Vampires were also OCD and crossing flowing water was a lethal as a steak to the heart.
But there are a few items that are, to me, a staple to defining a vampire’s weaknesses: Holy water, must drink human blood…and sunlight.
It’s my understanding that Edward Cullen is immune to these items (at least in a lethal capacity). So then what’s the down side to being a vampire? “Oh, I get all sparkly when I’m out in the sunlight?” Well, I have news for you son, you attend high school instead of college night classes. The worst thing that you have to deal with as an immortal 17 year old is that you have to live as a 17 year old for all eternity. Time to get emo about it and start a blog. But in truth, I’d be pretty upset about that too. I mean, at least if I were 18 I’d be able to date women legally and attend college classes to mix up my day. I’d still not be able to rent a car, though….
So I think this comic is appropriate for remembering some of the roots of this current Hollywood trend. So I present to you the Nosferatu. This, ladies and gents, is a vampire. Edward Cullen is not.
